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New Review: The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

August 3, 2008

I can always tell how much I will like a movie based on three things. 1. If the previews appeal to me while I am waiting for the film to begin. 2. If when sitting in the theater I don’t notice that I am freezing. 3. How much of the bag of candy I eat while watching the movie.

For The Mummy Part 3 (how it gets to be a trilogy makes no sense) – Besides the Harry Potter new trailer, all the rest were the crap films coming out this fall. I thought, uh oh. Then I fought my son for the one sweater I brought as I froze to death. While watching the movie, in an attempt to do something besides sit there bored I ate almost an entire huge bag of Reese’s Pieces. Now, Dark Knight I ate a couple of handfuls but then didn’t want to be distracted by any crunching noise so that I could absorb the film. The films previewed, I can’t even remember because the movie took up so much of my free memory, and was I cold? No..not at all.  

So. There. I was bored. Brendan Fraser reprises his role as Rick O’Connell who has settled into retirement at a beautiful British estate with his lovely wife Evelyn O’Connell. O’Connell seemed to be the only one aware that she was not the original wife..much like a soap opera where people are replaced interchangeably with no attempt to make them look similar (other than the bad brunette hair cut they gave her — of which they could have spent more money on her British accent training than that hair!).But I’m rambling on a minor point. Yes, Rachel Weisz chose not to come back for the film and now I see why.

Also like a soap opera is that the 5 or 6 year old child they had (played by Freddie Boath in part 2), has now become a non descript mid-20 something in what appears to only be a few years later (but I can’t recall the exact date when Mummy 2 was set). However, Luke Ford is easy to watch and doesn’t overshadow his father’s performance too much, but does get to prove (like another film earlier this summer) that he is his father’s son as they fight side-by-side. Luckily, unlike Indy’s child, he wears much more attractive clothing than strange leather hats, etc.

I have to admit, I wanted to see the film because I am obsessed with the Terra Cotta warriors and thought, well, maybe it will have some cool historical bent. No. It doesn’t. And like a typical Hollywood film, the white people have to go to the foreign land to help save the day. Really? Why not have Brendan Fraser raise the mummy of Sitting Bull and have to save the white settlers from him. Oh yeah..because that wouldn’t be as PC as raising dead Chinese emperors whose entire mummified existence is because of a bad relationship. Sigh.

But thank goodness, love saves the day in this film with Ford falling in love with the daughter of the witch who placed the curse on the Emperor and his army, turning them into terra cotta so that they could not reach immortality. But of course, the O’Connell family screws that up and so we have Jet Li as Emperor Han rise from the dead and drink from Shangra-La- luckily situated only a few feet from a Buddhist shrine to it so they didn’t have to work real hard at it. Oh, yeah, and the Yetis helped who somehow have become lovely little polar bears with cute blue eyes.

Yeah exactly. It stretches that far. Once the yetis showed up, I thought, oh no..Too much, can’t process this film anymore and I tuned out. That is about when I began to enjoy my bag of candy and look around the theater.

Now, to be fair..I didn’t like the first two all that much, but they were at least entertaining. This one, minus a few battle scenes with skeletons and terra cotta soldiers (although that was just reminiscent of Lord of the Rings), was off just a bit. The lines were too campy. The look of the film just a little dull. The CGI just average. The story line only scraps from other better movies. The concept of father and son followed too close after Indiana Jones return and seemed less spectacular. Even Jet Li just seemed less than in this film.

So, if you haven’t caught my drift yet..No, I didn’t like this movie and unless you were a major fan of the first two, I wouldn’t even rent it. Avoid.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. August 5, 2008 9:05 pm

    And see he wasn’t even the worst part of the movie..The whole thing was just a mess.

  2. August 5, 2008 5:14 pm

    Sounds like Tomb of the Dragon Emperor met everyone’s expectations… generally Brendan Frasier tries too hard to act, so he has an unnatural feel on screen

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